2:00:00
Real price, not a joke: $39.99 Early Access Standard · $49.99 Supporter Edition. (Steam store page)
~30,000 of you queued 24 hours early for the Firing Range. This panel is for the rest of the wait.
The queue that would not end. The devs opened the Firing Range and said the big fat server queue is on purpose. The queue said 2 hours. Then the queue kept saying 2 hours.
The outbreak. Then chat kept saying 2 hours. Then chat said 2 hours so much that the general population got confused, asked "wait, what is in 2 hours? did i miss something?", and the mods had to build a separate #2-hours channel to contain it.
The channel split. The main server kept its actual announcements; everyone still saying "2 hours" got funneled into #2-hours, which — fittingly — runs about 2 hours behind whatever is being discussed everywhere else. This page is that channel, as a website. It will be up in 2 hours.
The congregation. #2-hours grew its own ranks out of the joke: a 2 Hour Disciple is anyone who has said "2 hours" enough times to mean it, and a 2HRS Grand Prior is a disciple who now says it back to the mods. Neither rank grants access to anything. See you in 2 hours.
The queue, for real. This isn't hyperbole. The final closed beta drew reports of 60,000+ players in queue, with waits of 7+ hours. The "2 hours" this whole page repeats is the polite, rounded-down version of a much worse real number.
The closed betas. There were two real rounds: an August round on 21–23 Aug 2026, and a final round from 3 Sept 18:00 UTC to 6 Sept 08:00 UTC, with pre-ordering guaranteeing access to it.
Early Access, for real. WARDOGS leaves the queue behind (allegedly) and enters Early Access on 10 September 2026, per Steam and PC Gamer reporting — one fan wiki says 11 Sept instead; unresolved, Steam is treated as authoritative. No faction lore has been published for that date. See you in 2 hours anyway.
"10 Reasons NOT to Buy WARDOGS." BULKHEAD, the developer, published a video arguing against buying their own game — citing the lack of content, the Early Access price, the graphics, and controller support, plus their own studio's history with Battalion: 1944's failure. The game climbed Steam's top-seller charts anyway. Anti-marketing as marketing, endlessly referenced in #2-hours ever since.
Not that kind of shooter. WARDOGS is often described as a PMC extraction shooter. It isn't: it's a 100-player, three-team, objective-based mode built around a moving Control Zone, closer to King of the Hill. There's no extraction loop, no raid-in/raid-out — death just costs you travel time back to the zone, not your loot.
Driver, Pilot, Wardog. Progression runs on three parallel tracks. Driver Level gates land vehicles and rises with driving time and logistics runs. Pilot Level gates helicopters and rises with flight time, inserts and evacuations. Wardog Level — the sum of all six class levels (Assault, Medic, Support, Recon, Driver, Pilot) — gates tanks and artillery. Reaching the level still isn't enough; there's a cash unlock fee on top. See you at Pilot 40.
Three ways to roll up. The vehicle roster splits into helicopters (from the unarmed MH-6 scout up to the Havoc attack heli), tracked vehicles (the L2A6 main battle tank, the Flakpanzer Gepard AA, the SPH-2 artillery piece), and wheeled vehicles (from the $500 Bobcat up through the Humvee and URAL). Flying is heavy and unforgiving — a bad landing costs you both the aircraft and a large chunk of stored cash.
Disclaimer. This page is unofficial fan-made parody, not affiliated with, sponsored by, or reviewed by BULKHEAD or Team17. The facts above are drawn from public reporting cited in this project's research notes; no quotes attributed to the developers on this page are invented.
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